Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOVEMBER 21 - 27, 2016
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MISCELLANEOUS
Watch Sold at Auction for Record $11 Million
To someone who inadvertently made winning bid when checking the time.
“Fascism” Merriam-Webster's
Most Searched Word Day
After Election

Next day it was “impeachment.”
 
SPORTS
New York: World Chess
Championship Pits Champion
Magnus Carlsen vs. Challenger
Sergey Karjakin

Fans can stop by and beat either one with a smartphone app.
 
CORRECTION
In our front page story regarding Steve Bannon's statement “darkness is good” we inadvertently ran a picture of President-Elect Trump meeting with Darth Vader. We sincerely apologize to Mr. Vader and to the entire Vader family for any embarrassment this may have caused.
CONSUMER NEWS
McDonald's to Try Table Service
“Very good, Madam, and may I supersize that for you?”
 
NEW PRODUCTS
A Personal Luxury Submarine
For the Bachelor Billionaire!
 
  A guest lounge, room for five, and a toilet, this baby can descend to 3,300 feet while you and your diving belles marvel at the scenery and you pour your merry mermaids another Singapore Sling. $5 million, at U-boats 'R' Us.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Revealed: Windowless 550-Foot Tall Building in Manhattan Actually NSA Listening Post
NSA claims it's luxury apartments for people who dislike having a view.

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