Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 12 - 18, 2016
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TECHNOLOGY
Humans Successfully Play Video Games Based on Signals Sent Directly to Their Brains
And they're billed the same way.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: More School Increases
Risk of Nearsightedness

Save your eyes — ditch school!
 
NEW WORD OF THE DAY
      NOUN:
    stanandolliegarchy
    (stan-and-ollie-gar-chy)
a country governed by a couple of bumbling billionaires.
 
SPORTS
Drug Tests Ordered for Every Russian Athlete in Last Two Olympics
Labs hope to find just one clean Russian athlete to compete in 2020.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
CIA Assessment: Russia Tried to Help Trump Win
Leaked incriminating emails, issued fake news stories, hacked voter registration systems in Arizona, Illinois, slipped LSD into Hillary's hot sauce.
As it takes shape, the Trump Administration most closely resembles:
A )The Mad Hatter's Tea Party
B )Sweeney Todd
C )Pirates of the Caribbean
Hint: Avast, maties!
 
POLITICS
House GOP Leaders Split With Trump Over Trade Wars
Fear import tariffs on products made by U.S. companies abroad could lead to massive retaliation, catastrophe, economic ruin, social collapse, widespread starvation, and a loss of a couple of seats in the midterms.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Trump Unveils Plans for Remodeling White House
Furnishings, workmen already enroute from China.

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