Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 2 - 8, 2017
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ENTERTAINMENT
Martin Scorsese's Next Film Will Digitally De-Age Robert De Niro
Technicians can't erase De Niro's last dozen films, however.
 
BUSINESS
Obama Announces Tough
Sanctions on Russia

Americans can expect to pay more for caviar, borscht, nesting dolls.
French Workers Win Right to Ignore Work Emails After Hours
Only romantic inquiries suggesting a clandestine rendezvous permitted.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
NHTSA Investigating 1 Million
Fiat-Chryslers That Can Slip
Out of Park into Reverse

Company recommends drivers engage emergency break, place large rocks behind wheels, don't leave infants or seniors in car, increase liability insurance.
SCIENCE
New Study: Cheetahs at Risk of Extinction
Cheaters thriving, however.
BBC Survey: Twice as Many Notable People Died in 2016 as in 2015
Expects all notables to be gone by 2030.
 
Newly Discovered Prehistoric Bird Proves Arctic Once Warm as Florida
Fossil headed to Florida to promote “early bird” dinners.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Patients Who Knowingly Took Placebos Still Had Better Results
Experienced fewer side effects, fatal overdoses, bankruptcies.
Study: Obesity Disrupts Brain's Intake of Dopamine
Which makes you want a Snickers.
 
SPORTS
Russian Officials Admit to Systematic Doping of Athletes for Many Years, But Government Didn't Know
Credit Russian version of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell.”

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