Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JANUARY 9 - 15, 2017
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MISCELLANEOUS
McDonald's Opens Near Vatican City Amid Outrage
“No McRib?” fumes furious Pope Francis.
 
FEATURE
ODDS 'N' ENDS
New York's Subways Finally Get Reliable Cell, WiFi Service
Now it's much easier to upload video of strangers drooling on your shoe.
  NEW PRODUCTS — THE BEST OF CES
 
Finally, a Bluetooth Toaster!
With this visitor from the future you can open an app on your smartphone, select “toaster,” select “light,” “medium” or “dark,” select “begin,” and then wait for an alarm that tells you your toast is done to perfection — even if you forgot to put bread in. $100, at Who Needs It.
 
This Gizmo Keeps Your Phone or Skype Conversations Secret!
Just strap on the HushMe and talk away without nosy officemates or nosy wives listening in and making fun of you, or filing for divorce. $89, at Feedbag Tech.
 
 
Magically, this device straps to your garbage can and voila! Tells you what you're throwing out as you're throwing it out, how much you're throwing out, everything but why you're throwing it out, although that's coming. $199, at Too Much Innovation.
 
Whether your pup's merry, morose, melancholy, or just suicidal, you'll know instantly with alerts sent out by this combination dog collar/canine psychiatrist, with the likely result another artisanal biscuit for man's best friend. $50, at Everything But Fleas.
 

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