Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEBRUARY 6 - 12, 2017
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OBITUARIES
Goebbels's Secretary Dies at 106
Lived just long enough to see her boss's politics come back into favor.
 
PEOPLE
Melania Trump May Never
Move Into White House

“For what?” she tells friends.
 
ADVERTISING
TV Shows Watched by Trump
Swamped by Advertisers
Hoping to Get His Attention

MSNBC's “Morning Joe” doubles ad rate for Propecia, Hair Club for Men.
 
BUSINESS
Apple Sitting on $246 Billion in Cash
Tim Cook: “For a rainy day.”
Trump Begins Dismantling Financial Regulations, Consumer Protections
Public can look forward to cheaper, more defective products.
SCIENCE
Human-Pig Hybrid Produced Using New Scientific Technique
Next up: pigs that fly.
Creature With Big Mouth, No Anus Could Be Our Earliest Ancestor
Or it could be our current leader.
Cannibalism Common Among More Species Than Previously Thought
And they all taste like chicken.
New Theory: Universe a 3-D Hologram
Replaces string theory as conversation killer.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Spending Time Nude Around Others Leads to Greater Happiness
Tell it to the judge.
Study: One Third of Fast
Food Packaging Contains
Cancer-Causing Chemicals

Other two-thirds contain heart-attack and stroke-causing chemicals.

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