Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEBRUARY 20 - 26, 2017
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MISCELLANEOUS
Monopoly Drops Antiquated Thimble, Which Girls Haven't Used in Decades
Replaces it with diaphragm.
Public Broadcasting Among Top Items on GOP's Budget Chopping Block
“Say it ain's so,” cries Times Square Elmo (right).
 
SPORTS
Spring Training Underway
Players have one month to injure every part of their body before season starts.
 
FACTOID
In Last 10 Years, an Average
Of 21 Americans Killed
Annually by Armed Toddlers

If you encounter an armed toddler, don't be a hero, just hand over all your candy.
FEATURE
Of which is President Trump “the least”?
A )the least anti-semitic person that you've ever seen.
B )the least racist person that you've ever seen.
C )the least misogynistic person that you've ever seen.
C )the least qualified person to be President that you've ever seen.
Hint: no hint this week.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Two Companies Battle Over Wine Market for Cats, Dogs
Last one standing ends up controlling a $200 industry.

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