Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEB 27 - MAR 5, 2017
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POLITICS
Joe Piscopo Considers Running for Governor of New Jersey
As an unfunny Republican.
 
BUSINESS
Mall of America to Name
A Writer-in-Residence

For one year a Thomas Pynchon, say, will work on his next novel in the back of the Hallmark store.
Grocery Trade Groups Ask
Manufacturers to Choose
Between “Use by” and “Best
if used by” Labels

And “Best if never used.”
 
MEDIA
  Washington Post Unveils New Motto: “Democracy Dies in Darkness”
Beats out “Home of Highly Placed Sources Who Speak Anonymously” and “Free Shipping With Prime Membership.”
SCIENCE
  NASA: Seven Habitable Earth-
Like Planets Discovered
Orbiting Nearby Star

Each one at a different stage of self-destruction.
Bees Learn to Push Ball to Obtain Sugary Treat
With fewer bees, we're going to need smarter bees.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
  Study: Cigarette Packs With No Brand Names, Nothing But Warnings Reduces Smoking
No one says, "I'd walk a mile for lung cancer."
Psychiatric Group Diagnoses Trump as “Malignant Narcissist”
With weird hair.

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