Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 6 - 12, 2017
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MISCELLANEOUS
Washington, DC: Iconic Cherry Blossom Trees Blossoming Earlier Than Ever
Also, impeachment talk blossoming earlier than ever.
 
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Accountant Brian Cullinan
Bouncing back from the Oscars debacle when he handed the wrong card to Warren Beatty, Brian's got a new job carrying President Trump's nuclear briefcase.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Pizza Hut's “Pie Top Sneakers” Order a Pizza Whenever You Push Button on Them
Hundreds of them when a wiseguy steps on your foot repeatedly.
FEATURE
President Trump proposes a $54 billion boost to U.S. military spending, which is already
A )The biggest in the history of the world.
B )So big we don't really know how to spend it all.
C )So big just keeping track of it is enormously expensive.
D )Bigger than the military spending of the next eight biggest-spending nations.
Hint: combined.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
New Interior Secretary Arrives for First Day of Work on Horseback
His Bentley broke down two blocks away.

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