Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 20 - 26, 2017
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MISCELLANEOUS
Britain's New 5-Pound Note Contains Meat Byproduct
Boiled, it's quite tasty, may well become meal of choice in post-Brexit England.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Report: Up to 45 Million Twitter Accounts Bots
Another ten million probably dogs.
 
FACTOID
Denmark Ranked as Happiest Country
Based on quality of pastry, herring, depth of melancholy.
 
SPORTS
2020 Japan Olympics: Baseball to be Played at Fukushima Venue
With preliminary rounds at Hiroshima.
 
BREAKING NEWS
Report: Trump Gives CIA Permission to Perform Drone Strikes
With order to target ISIS, al Qaeda, CNN.
FEATURE
What does “plutocracy” mean?
A )Government by extraterrestrials from the planet Pluto.
B )Government by the lovable Disney cartoon dog.
C )Government by the Roman God of the Underworld.
D )Government by the rich.
Hint: did you vote for a little green man, a dog, or an ancient god in the last election?
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Trove of Candid Hitler Photos Sell for $41,000 to Unidentified Bidder
Sparks firestorm of speculation whether it's Steven K. Bannon or some other Trump adviser.

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