Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 17 - 23, 2017
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PICTURE OF THE WEEK
  Sculptor of Wall Street's Iconic
“Charging Bull” Wants
“Fearless Girl” Removed

“She's questioning my manhood,” he claims.
 
CRIME
Another Journalist Murdered
In Mexico

According to rumors.
 
SPORTS
NBA Season Ends With
Teams Trying to Lose

Improving chance of getting high draft pick they can pay with winnings from betting against themselves.
MLB Commissioner Suggests Cleveland Indians Should “Transition Away” From Chief Wahoo
To a more respectable mascot, like Tonto.
MISCELLANEOUS
New York City Trader Joe's Fires Californian for “Insufficiently Genuine” Smile
Anybody caught smiling in New York can be fired.
White House Demands Trump Ride in Carriage With Queen When He Visits UK
And he wants a forward-facing window seat.
 
TRENDS
Microdosing LSD Gains Popularity for Mood Enhancement, Creativity
Megadosing still recommended for transcending duality, merging with cosmos.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Seattle Mariners Serving Toasted Grasshoppers at Their Ballpark
Those who've tried them say they taste “just like crickets.”

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