Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 22 - 28, 2017
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PEOPLE
Miss USA Slammed for Saying Healthcare a Privilege, Not a Right
She's weighing Trump's offer to be Surgeon General.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Ringling Bros. Circus Gives
Its Final Performance

“Now we can complete our staffing,” says Trump administation official.
 
BUSINESS
Treasury Secretary Confused National Debt With National Deficit
Later, gives assistant two tens in change for a five.
Apple Patents New Pizza Box
Like most Apple products, it's incompatible with majority of pizzas.
TRAVEL
Delta Announces New Automated Bag Check-In Will be Twice As Fast
In other words, your bags will be lost twice as fast.
 
SCIENCE
Discovered: A Caterpillar
That Eats Plastic

Then transforms itself into a recyclable butterfly.
 
Numerous Species Threatened With Extinction
Not shown: humans.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Cannabis Reverses Aging Processes in the Brain
Turning grumpy old coots into goofy young slackers.
Study: Too Much Technology
Can Hurt Kids' Health

Just ask Alexa.

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