| NEW PRODUCTS |
 |
 Stiletto Roller Skates!
Expect to see more people wearing these, at
S&M roller derby parties, and in countries
that permit torture. $299, at all remaining Sears. |
|
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Administration Looking
Into Discrimination Against
Whites in Universities
Also wants to tackle discrimination against
blacks in the NBA. |
|
Five Shootings, Three Deaths Mar
Baltimore's “Nobody Kill Anybody”
Weekend
“Nobody Rape Anybody,” “Nobody Throw Acid
in Anybody's Face,” “Nobody Steal Anybody's
Car” weekends put on hold. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Paris Awarded 2024 Olympics,
Los Angeles 2028 Olympics
2032 Summer Olympics go to North Pole, 2032
Winter Olympics given to Jamaica. |
|
| KIDZ KORNER |
 |
| In the following statement,
can you spot the phrase that doesn't belong? |
| Senate Majority Leader
Mitch McConnell set out his schedule for the rest of
August, including on his list: |
| A ) | Confirming nominees. |
| B ) | Legislation to help veterans. |
| C ) | Re-authorizing user
fees to fund the Food and Drug Administration. |
| D ) | A bold new effort
to find bi-partisan consensus on a health care bill. |
| Hint: don't get sick. |
|
|
|
| |
| LAW |
|
 "Pharma Bro"
Martin Shkreli Found Guilty of Securities Fraud
And all-around repulsiveness. |
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|
