Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOV 27 - DEC 3, 2017
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MILESTONES
George H.W. Bush Becomes Oldest Living Ex-President in U.S. History
As well as oldest living ex-President with a wandering hand.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Self-Driving Vehicles Will
Decide Who Dies in a Crash

Algorithm quickly determines if you're up to date on your car payments, then initiates evasive maneuvers, or not.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Facebook to Inform Users if They Followed Russian Troll Farm Sites
And warn them of fake notifications informing them if they followed Russian troll farm sites.
 
EDUCATION
DOJ Investigating Harvard's Affirmative Action Admission Policies
But only those affecting students whose father pledged less than $2.5 million to gain them admission.
FEATURE
 
Outgoing Message of the Day
 
“Hello. You have reached the Office of the Director of Communications at the White House. No one is currently available to take your call, but if you feel President Trump has insulted you using inaccurate information or otherwise mischaracterized something you have said or done, please explain your situation after the beep and the president will double down on whatever he has already said, then invent new lies and slanders about you. Thank you and have a wonderful day.”
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Trump Promotes Own Black
Friday Sale on Twitter

Calls it
“Emolumental!“

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