Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 18 - 24, 2017
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TECHNOLOGY
Food Delivery Robots Teaching Themselves to Cross Street
While not prompting someone to yell “Bomb!” and spark a panic.
Artificial Intelligence Machine Can Identify 2 Billion People in Seconds
Then send them all an annoying email.
 
LEXICOGRAPHY
Oxford Dictionaries Word of
The Year “Youthquake”

Runner up: “why youthquake?”
 
SPORTS
More Predict Decline in Popularity of Football Due to Violence, Injuries
And too many commercials.
Dennis Rodman Organizing Basketball Game Between U.S., North Korea
Washington Generals to play Pyongyang Globetrotters on North Korea pay-per-view.
CORRECTION
 
Last week we misidentified the world leader who, in his annual address, praised President Trump and debunked the investigation into Russian meddling in our election. It was Vladimir Putin, not President Trump. President Trump will deliver that speech next month. We regret the error.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Most Notable Quote of 2017:
Kellyanne Conway's
“Alternative Facts”

“I never said that,” she now claims.
Republican Tax Bill a Windfall for Wealthy
E Pluribus Unum succumbs to Quid Pro Quo.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Jeff Bezos's Blue Origin Successfully Launches Test Dummy Into Space
Soon, private firm hopes to launch billionaire dummies into space.

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