Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPT 10 - 16, 2018
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PEOPLE
Russian State TV Airs Show Glorifying Putin That's Meant to Boost His Declining Popularity
On it he hunts, fishes, rides horses, sings, dances, and performs a scene from Chekhov.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
ABC Proceeding With "The Connors" Without Roseanne
Network says the living room (above), kitchen and dining room will all be returning.
 
BUSINESS
Beverage Makers Turn to Clear Beer, Soda, Coffee, Other Drinks to Drum Up Sales
And cut costs by not using cancer-causing artificial colorings.
CONSUMER NEWS
Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop Settles $125,000 Lawsuit Over False Claims About Vaginal Jade Egg
One claim, “You'll be laying jade eggs in no time!” deemed unsubstantiated.
 
SCIENCE
Quantum Physicists Determine Chicken, Egg Both Came First
Next case.
First “Space Elevator” to Undergo Test, With Goal of Tourist Passengers by 2050
At which time you'll just push “Penthouse” and be whisked up to the space station, by then an exclusive club for trillionaires.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
OxyContin Billionaire Patents New Drug to Get People Off OxyContin
Applies for another patent for drug that counters new drug's side effects.

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