Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPT 24 - 30, 2018
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PEOPLE
Stormy Daniels Book: Trump's Penis Looks Like “Toad From Mario Kart”
Her description confirmed by numerous other porn stars.
 
BUSINESS
Experts: Next Year Half of
All Calls Will Be Scam Robocalls

Other half from your mother.
Amazon Thinking of Opening
3,000 Cashier-Less Stores

For people who have no money but want things.
NASA Mulls Selling Naming
Rights to Spacecraft

Starting with Trump International Space Station.
 
LEISURE
Toy Hall of Fame to Pick New
Members From Group Including
Magic 8-Ball, Tickle Me Elmo,
Tudor Electric Football

Sex Toy Hall of Fame will also pick new members from same group.
SCIENCE
Astronomers Discover Planet
Vulcan 16 Light Years From Earth

They're only now getting first episodes of “Friends.”
Scientists Using Stimulation
To Upload Knowledge Directly
Into Your Brain

Before you know it, you're well read.
 
SpaceX Chooses Japanese Billionaire as First Moon Tourist
Beat out dozens of other billionaires.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Taking Daily Aspirin Doesn't
Help, New Study Says

Only helps those with large holdings in Bayer, Bristol-Myers.
Professors at John Jay College of Criminal Justice Who Did Extensive Research on Drug Use, Prostitution, Subject of Investigation into Selling Drugs, Forcing Women into Prostitution
They are, after all, experts.

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