Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 22 - 28, 2018
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PEOPLE
Even Kushner Uncomfortable with Saudi Crown Prince, His BFF
Not with the killing, with the dismembering.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Mormon Tabernacle Choir Drops “Mormon” From Name
Couldn't get booked in any hip clubs.
 
BUSINESS
Canada Legalizes Marijuana; Demand Quickly Outstrips Supply
Lines extend all the way from Nova Scotia to British Columbia.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Golden Girls Cereal Hits Supermarket Shelves
Cereal box boasts: “You don't need teeth!”
SCIENCE
China Plans to Launch “Artificial Moon” to Light Up Night Skies
And rent it out to other countries for special occasions.
 
NASA Has Plans for “Cloud City” of Airships in Atmosphere of Venus
If it can convince about fifty billionaires to book tickets.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
First-Born Children More Likely to Learn About Sex From Parents
Second-born most likely to hear it from fist-born the very same day.
 
CORRECTION
 
We recently reported that the future of Amazon was at stake in the upcoming elections in Brazil. We apologize to our readers for unnecessarily alarming them about the future of Amazon, which will not be affected by the elections. It is only the future of the Amazon Rain Forest, sometimes called “the lungs of the Earth,” which is at stake.

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