Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JANUARY 7 - 13, 2019
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TECHNOLOGY
  Robot Finishes First in World's Ugliest Dog Contest
Angry owners of ugly live dogs claim it's a dancing table and not a dog at all.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Lindsey Graham: Wall a “Metaphor for Border Security”
Lindsey Graham an anagram for Angrily Shamed.
 
FACTOID
In 2010, Undocumented Workers
Paid $12 Billion in Social Security
Taxes, Received No Benefits

Unless you count benefits of doing backbreaking work for minimum wage inhaling deadly pesticides, constantly in fear of being torn from your family and deported.
 
TRAVEL
Passenger Arrested for Groping
Woman on Flight, Says Trump
Said “It's OK”

“I didn't say it's always okay,” says Trump.
FEATURE
 
Outgoing Message of the Week
Hello, you have reached the Department of the Interior. Due to the shutdown of the government, no one is available to take your call. If you are calling to report a flood, you should seriously consider building an ark. The dimensions for your ark are available in the Bible, in the Book of Genesis. If the flood you are reporting is expected to last 40 days and 40 nights, you should take with you two of every animal you can find, one male and one female, to ensure the survival of the species. Regarding sanitation aboard your ark: improvise. And don't forget to take a few doves, to help determine if and when the waters have receded. Thank you for calling the Department of the Interior. And Happy New Year!
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
  Trump Holds Cabinet Meeting With Poster of Himself on Table
Every Cabinet member buys one.

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