Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – JAN 28 - FEB 3, 2019
page three

PEOPLE
Following His Assault in Dispute Over Manhattan Parking Space, Alec Baldwin Enters Anger Management Class
If he passes, he can then enroll in Ego Management Class.
Kellyanne Conway Denies Being White House Leaker
Says so on condition of anonymity.
 
MEDIA
CBS Rejects Super Bowl Ad for Medical Marijuana
Accepts ads for fat, grease, sugar, alcohol.
 
BUSINESS
New York Apartment Sells for Record $238 Million
Features hot and cold running water, oil heat, and a laundromat “within easy walking distance.”
SCIENCE
Study: Horses Remember
Facial Expressions of People
They've Seen Before

Couldn't care less how fast we run.
 
Doomsday Clock Set at Two Minutes to Midnight
Clicks ahead one second for every one hundred presidential tweets.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Soaking in Scent of French Fries for 2 Minutes Curbs Craving
Plus it's hard to eat surrounded by swarms of flies.
 
LIFESTYLE
Trending: Non-Alcoholic Mocktails
Mocktail parties already dubbed “the dullest parties on Earth.”

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
 ©  Copyright 2019 Ironic Times