Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MARCH 4 - 10, 2019
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PEOPLE
Cohen Threatened High Schools, Colleges, and the College Board About Releasing Trump's Grades, SAT Scores
Said Trump's high school guidance counselor “sleeps with the fishes.”
Ivanka: “People Prefer to Earn Their Own Money”
Earned hers the old-fashioned way: she inherited it.
 
BUSINESS
Trump Loan Application to
Deutsche Bank Listed “Brand
Value” as $4 Billion Asset

Don't forget to include your brand value next time you apply for a loan.
 
REAL ESTATE
Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch Gets New Name, Much Lower Selling Price
New name: NeverAgainLand.
SCIENCE
Report: Russian Navy Has New Weapon That Makes Targets Hallucinate, Vomit
It's also available as a cleanse from Goop.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Robot Buddhist Deity to Preach in Japanese Temple
Trying to help Japanese robots achieve enlightenment.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Pedestrian Fatalities at
An All-Time High

You hardly see them anymore.
Study: Fast-Food Menus Even More Unhealthy Now Than 30 Years Ago
Did somebody say single-payer healthcare?
Study: Spending Just 20 Minutes
At a Public Park Boosts Happiness

Any longer and you'll be arrested for vagrancy.

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