Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 10 - 16, 2019
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PEOPLE
Pope Francis Approves Change to Wording of Lord's Prayer
Now begins: “The Lord is my lifestyle coach, I shall not lack for entertainment...”
 
BUSINESS
Amazon: Drones Will Be Making Deliveries in "Months"
First deliveries will be pink slips to Amazon truck drivers.
New Walmart Service to Deliver Groceries Inside Customers' Homes
So don't worry if someone's banging around downstairs — it's probably just the Walmart delivery guy.
Charmin Introduces Toilet Paper Roll That Lasts 3 Months
Then announces it's going out of business.
SCIENCE
Navy Pilots Report Seeing UFOs on Numerous Occasions
Latest theory: they're billionaire time travelers from the future.
 
NASA to Charge Tourists $35,000 a Day to Visit International Space Station
Gratuities included.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Report: Chicken No Better Than Red Meat at Reducing Cholesterol
Based on comparative autopsies of Col. Sanders, Ray Kroc.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Study: Just One-Half Degree Difference in Global Warming Means Life or Death for Thousands in Large Cities in Northeast
“Mostly Democrats,” says White House, responding to report.

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