Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 10 - 16, 2019
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ART
Shocker: Under Monet Painting Restorers Discover Another Monet
And under that — a Rembrandt!
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: People Who Claim to
Work 75-Hour Weeks Usually
Only Work About 50 Hours

And half of that time spent boasting about their work ethic.
Survey: People Who See Glass as Half-Full Really Are More Optimistic
But less so than those whose cup runneth over.
 
SPORTS
NBA Teams Consider Dropping Word “Owner” Due to Racial Insensitivity
Would replace it with “rich white guy.”
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Heinz Discovers Name for New Product Mayochup Actually a Cree Word for Feces
And in one Inuit dialect it means ”soon to be discontinued.”
FEATURE
Of the following, which was not one of the ten most popular boys' names in 2018?
 1 )Liam  6 )Grayson
 2 )Noah  7 )Lucas
 3 )William  8 )Mason
 4 )James  9 )Oliver
 5 )Caden 10 )Donald
Hint: nobody's naming their kid Lord Voldemort either.
 
FACTOID
Average Person Ingests More
Than 70,000 Microplastic
Particles Each Year

That's the equivalent of 1400 Lego smoothies.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Electric Pogo Sticks Coming to Some California Cities
Will let you jump right over that jerk on the scooter who's in your way.

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