Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 9 - 15, 2019
page three

PEOPLE
Sarah Sanders to Write Book About Her Stint as White House Press Secretary
Working title: Everything But the Truth.
Pence Defends Staying at Trump Properties at Taxpayers' Expense
And wearing Trump suits, eating Trump steaks, drinking Trump water, and using Trump cologne.
 
BUSINESS
Walmart Asks Shoppers Not
to Carry Firearms Openly
in Stores

Especially if they're mentally ill.
Harley-Davidson Unveils First Line of Bicycles
Aimed at healthier, eco-friendly Hells Angels.
SCIENCE
Study: Technology Blamed for
Lower Patience Thresholds

Instant gratification not fast enough.
Breakthrough: AI System
Passes Eighth-Grade
Science Test

Despite numerous distractions from other AI systems taking test.
 
New Theory About Loch Ness Monster: Might Be Giant Eel
Either way, don't swim there.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Daily Serving of Nuts
May Improve Sexual Function
in Men

Ask your wife if nuts are right for you.
Survey: Adults Think
About Sex 8 Times Per
Day on Average

Many claim it's due to all the nuts they've been eating.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2019 Ironic Times