Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 2 - 8, 2019
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ENTERTAINMENT
Report: In 90s, Studio Exec
Suggested Julia Roberts
Portray Harriet Tubman
For current biopic he suggested Tilda Swinton.
 
BUSINESS
Study: Average Millennial
Has Already Worked as Many
Jobs as Most 50-Year-Olds

But they'll never receive a gold watch.
Food Delivery Now So Popular
That Some Restaurants Will
Pay You to Eat There

And don't be surprised if your waiter gives you a tip.
  Black Friday (left): Sales Good
As Shoppers Fight Over Large
Screen TVs

Small Business Saturday (right): sales good as shoppers fight over handmade tea cozies.
SCIENCE
Study: Listening to Classical
Music at Work Boosts
Productivity

Except John Cage.
New Species of Leech With
3 Jaws, 59 Teeth Discovered
Outside Washington, DC

Wearing a MAGA hat.
 
Black Hole Discovered That's So Big It Defies Explanation
Astronomers use hand gestures, facial expressions and scary sound effects to describe it.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Caffeine, Xanax Found
In “Pure” Blood Samples Used
For Transfusions

You can ask for either.
ENVIRONMENT
Global Coal-Fired Electricity
Production to Drop Record
3% in 2019

EPA calls finding “disappointing.”

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