Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MARCH 2 - 8, 2020
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PEOPLE
Prince Harry: “Just Call Me Harry”
“Or you can call me Ray, or you can call me RJ, or you can call me Ray J, but you doesn't have to call me Prince Harry.”
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Hollywood: Apple Won't Let
Movie Villains Use iPhones

Offers them free to good guys, heroes.
 
BUSINESS
Coronavirus Fears Causing
Steep Drop in Sales of
Corona Beer

Also Corona cigars, Smith-Corona typewriters.
Stocks Lose $6 Trillion in Value in One Week
Billionaires become millionaires, millionaires become extremely wealthy, extremely wealthy become merely very rich.
SCIENCE
Astronomers to Sweep Entire Sky for Signs of Intelligent Life
If they don't see anything they'll check out back and in the parking lot.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Survey: People Who Nap
Regularly More Productive,
Happier Than Non-Nappers

Those who sleep past noon happier still, but less productive.
 
Coronavirus Poses New Threat
You can contract disease just by staring at it.
 
Study: Low-Fat Diet May Lower Testosterone Levels in Men
Doctors advise patients: “eat two cheeseburgers and call me in the morning.”

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