Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MAY 25 - 31, 2020
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ART
Human Breath Taking Toll on Munch's Iconic Scream
Originally, figure was smiling.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Researchers Report Internet
Download Speeds 1,000 Times
Faster Than Current Fastest

To test it they've been non-stop binge-watching everything on Netflix for two months.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Survey: You Officially Become
“Old” When You Turn 57

Fifty-seven is the new sixty-five.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Coronavirus Causes 17% Drop in Global Carbon Transmissions
New fear: global cooling.
Wildlife Thriving in Closed National Parks
They're staying in park lodgings, eating at park concessions, shopping in park gift shops.
FEATURE
According to a recent survey, what percentage of Republicans believes Bill Gates will use a coronavirus vaccine to implant microchips in them?
A )Less than 1%
B )Less than 3%
C )Less than 5%
D )More than 40%
Hint: imagine millions of people unexplainably donating money to Microsoft.
 
RELIGION
Trump Urges Reopening
Houses of Worship

Hundreds crowd into Church of Satan.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
TMZ Snaps Photo of Trump Wearing Mask
National Enquirer pays undisclosed amount to “catch and kill” it.

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