Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 8 - 14, 2020
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PEOPLE
Seen Shopping at Costco: O.J. Simpson
Later spotted seething at employee because they ran out of paper towels.
 
PUBLISHING
Source: Bolton Book Contains Bombshells
Revelations include numerous impeachable offenses, illegal and unconstitutional actions, and other things everyone already knows about.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
HBO Max Pulls Gone With the Wind From Its Lineup
After complaints about use of word “damn.”
“Cops,” America's Longest-
Running Reality Show, Canceled

Replacing it: “Victims.”
 
BUSINESS
Starbucks to Let Baristas Wear “Black Lives Matter” T-Shirts
As long as they wear Starbucks t-shirts at protest marches.
SCIENCE
Study: 500 Species Likely to Become Extinct Over Next Two Decades
Trump “not surprised,” calls them “losers.”
 
ENVIRONMENT
Over 1,000 Tons of Tiny Plastic
Fragments Rain Down Annually
on National Parks in the West

In twenty years, experts predict buffaloes, bears, other wild animals will resemble Legos.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
New York City Health
Department Issues Guidelines,
Suggestions for Sex During
Pandemic

For women, suggests “think of Dr. Fauci,” and for men, “Dr. Birx.”
  Researchers Create Models of
What Netflix Binge Watchers
Will Look Like in 20 Years

Assuming they stay on a couch eating junk food without a break for two decades, a reasonable assumption.

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