| PEOPLE |
 |
 Time Names
Elon Musk Person of the Year
Fortune names him Richest Person
of the Year. |
|
|
Eric Trump: My Family “Not
Smart Enough” to Collude
With Russia
“We're just a bunch of useful idiots,”
he jokes. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Elon Musk Plans to Fly a
“Noah's Ark” Spaceship
Full of Animals to Mars
And plenty of air fresheners. |
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
|
 Robotic Hand
Can Crush Beer Cans, Hold Eggs
Without Breaking Them
Even provide a lonely sailor with a
happy ending. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
 NASA Spacecraft
Becomes First to “Touch” Sun
Yet to be announced: a manned mission. |
|
|
Human Brain Cells in
a Dish Learn to Play
Pong Faster Than AI
But human brain cells in a dish get
beaten regularly at video blackjack. |
|
 Recently
Discovered: First Millipede
That Actually Has 1,000 Legs
Previous discovery debunked as nothing
more than ten centipedes lined up end
to end. |
|
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Study: Blood From Athletes
Can Keep Sedentary People
Healthy
Finding hailed by rich, lazy ne-er-do-wells. |
|
