Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 14 - 20, 2022
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BREAKING NEWS
Leaked Kremlin Memo: It's “Essential” Media Features Tucker Carlson
Wants him to become “our Regis Philbin.”
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Vets: Pets Put on Weight
During Quarantine

As did pet owners, veterinarians.
 
LAW
First Jan 6 Trial Brings
Conviction of Member
Of Three Percenters

He's found guily of obstruction, illegal firearm possession, threats of violence, and leaving a “lousy 3% tip,” according to court ruling.
 
SPORTS
NFL Bans Player for Betting
On Games

League also announces new multi-year deal with DraftKings and FanDuel.
Baseball Returns After
Protracted Talks

However, some fans have already moved on to a faster game, chess.
FEATURE
Bernie Sanders says, “corporations are using 'inflation' as an excuse to jack up prices so that they can make record-breaking profits to enrich CEOs and wealthy shareholders.” Like what?
A )  Gas
B )  Food
C )  Energy
D )  Prescription Drugs
E )  Autos
F )  Appliances
G )  Travel
Hint: yes.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Queen Moves Permanently Out of Buckingham Palace
She's living in a granny shed out back.

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