| POLL |
 |
28% Would Take Up Arms
Against the Government
If that's what it takes to bring back slavery. |
| |
| PEOPLE |
|
 Putin Calls Up Retired
General to Lead Forces
in Ukraine
Interrupted his stay at Black Sea fat camp. |
|
|
Report: Aides Played Music
From Broadway Musical “Cats”
To Calm a Furious Trump
On eighty-four diffferent occasions
they played “Cats” to prevent
nuclear war. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Gallup: World Unhappier,
More Stressed Out Than Ever
“It's my last poll,” announces George Gallup. |
|
Amazon May Give Alexa
Ability to Speak in Voice
of Deceased Relative
Great for parties, funerals, seances. |
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Survey: 1 in 4 People Don't
Know Caterpillars Turn
Into Butterflies
And don't want to know. |
|
Breakthrough Brings Lightning-Fast
“Quantum Internet” Even Closer
But the closer it gets, the further away it is,
and the faster it gets here, the longer it takes. |
|
 Russia Ends Cooperation
on Space Station
Putin wants it fixed up, painted and sold. |
|
|
Researcher: Humans Exist
All Over Universe
Reveals dating app in the works. |
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Rabbi May Sue Florida Over
State's Abortion Law Banning
Abortions to Save Life of
Mother, Which Jews Allow
Gov. DeSantis says Jews should
treat new law “like they do
Christmas,” and “just play along.” |
|
