Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 20 - 26, 2023
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TECHNOLOGY
Prediction: In Next 10 Years Humanoids Will Begin Replacing Humans in Workforce
Most will perform menial tasks but some, with ChatGPT, will replace CEOs.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
San Francisco Mulls Giving
Every Black Resident
$5 Million in Reparations

Plus $200 to every hippie.
 
EDUCATION
Report: English Majors
Disappearing at Universities

Most freshmen choose Influencing as their major.
 
FACTOID
Harvard Study: 1 in 5
Guns Purchased Without
Background Check

Usually to people “in a hurry.”
 
SPORTS
Gambling on Pro Wrestling
Under Discussion

Iron-bound tradition of good guy always beats bad guy “could be problematic,” say insiders.
FEATURE
This week everybody's got an NCAA bracket. How many different outcomes are possible in the tournament?
A )775,808
B )54,775,808;
C )854,775,808
D )9,223,372,036,854,775,808
About the same odds as winning the lottery while being struck by lightning and eaten by a shark.
 
TRAVEL
Germany: Berlin to Allow Topless Women at Public Pools
Not only that, but the exchange rate is great right now.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
  NASA Tracking Asteroid That
Could Hit Earth in 2046

May require extensive modifications in all new thirty year mortgages.

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