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Ironic Times

 NO. 774 “Expect the Ironic” AUGUST 3 - 9, 2015 

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BUSH, CRUZ, WALKER, FIORINA, RUBIO APPEAR AT KOCH BROTHERS DONOR RETREAT
Woo wealthy conservatives hooked up to machines that siphon money from their bank accounts.
 
WORLD NEWS
Iranian Clerics Sermonizing Against Possible Return of McDonald’s
Amid angry cries of “Death to Ronald McDonald!”
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Google Glass Returns, But Won't Be Available to General Public
To qualify for a pair you must demonstrate complete disregard for others' privacy combined with total absence of style.
U. S. NEWS
FBI: ISIS Now Greater Threat
Than Al Qaeda

Just moved ahead of them in the standings.
NSA Says It Will Destroy All
Phone Data Collected From
Mass Surveillance

But keep a copy around, just in case.
 
REMINDER
  Never change lanes without signaling, if you're black.
 
Obama Visits Ethiopia Despite
Country's Dismal Record on
Human Rights

Has productive meetings, but only after being forced to stand in one position for eight hours while attached to electrical wires.
 
POLITICS
Bloomberg: Trump Worth Less
Than One Third of What He Says

Drives a 2002 Sentra, buys day-old bread, wears a cardboard belt.
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