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Ironic Times

 NO. 1017 “Expect the Ironic” MAR 30 - APR 5, 2020 

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TRUMP HOPED TO HAVE COUNTRY OPEN BY EASTER SUNDAY
Had golf date that day.
 
WORLD NEWS
Mexicans Demand Crackdown on Americans Crossing Border
Those caught will be put in cages, separated from family.
Brazil's Bolsonaro Calls Coronavirus Momentary, Minor Problem
Names ostrich national bird.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Trump Touts Daughter Tiffany's Tweet That Crisis Should be Over in a Few Days
“I trust her over Grouchy Fauci,” he adds.
U. S. NEWS
Americans to Receive
Stimulus Checks

Which they desperately need for toilet paper.
Gallup Poll: 60% Approve Trump's Handling of Coronavirus Situation
“It just keeps getting better,” tweets Trump.
 
REMINDER
  It's the perfect time to read the complete works of Shakespeare, twice.
 
Trump: Governors Have to Be
Nice to Him if They Want Aid

“But no quid pro quo,” he's quick to add.
Trump Wants to Open Up Sparsely Populated Parts of Country
Golf courses, resorts, and the like.
 
POLITICS
Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick
Suggests Elderly Should Die to
Save Economy From Coronavirus

Hopes this helps him with younger voters come November.
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