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Ironic Times

 NO. 834 “Expect the Ironic” SEP 26 - OCT 2, 2016 

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ON EVE OF DEBATE, RACE A VIRTUAL DEAD HEAT
Election could swing on a tiny faux pas by Clinton, or inciting mass murder by Trump.
 
WORLD NEWS
China: Marriages Down, Divorces Up
As country ends “one marriage” policy.
 
FACTOID
Study: Just 3% of Population Owns 50% of Nation's Guns
And 90% of nation's pickup trucks.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Another "Creepy Clown" Arrest, This Time in Kentucky
Latest count puts number of creepy clowns at 790,000.
U. S. NEWS
Chicago Adds One Thousand More Police Officers
By lowering standards.
Politifact: 70% of Trump's Statements Somewhere Between “Mostly False” and “Pants on Fire”
Other 30% between “Looney Tunes” and “Mein Kampf.”
 
REMINDER
  The only thing we have to fear is the vague notion “something's going on.”
 
Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg
Dedicates $3 Billion to Prevent,
Cure or Manage All Diseases
by End of Century

Figures he'll get 7.5 billion likes.
 
POLITICS
Trump: “We're in Medieval Times”
Wants to add a moat to the wall.
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