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Ironic Times

 NO. 817 “Expect the Ironic” MAY 30 - JUN 5, 2016 

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RIVALS BURY HATCHET FOR ONE NIGHT
At annual Most Unpopular Persons Awards.
 
WORLD NEWS
Obama Warmly Welcomed in Vietnam
Vietnamese offer to send troops if we ever have another civil war.
South African President Zuma
Accused of Spendng $554,000
On 11 Cars for His Four Wives

“Happy wife, happy life,” he explains.
 
REAL ESTATE
New York: Conversion of Old
Buildings to Million Dollar
Condos Driving Out Feral Cats

Sentiment growing to evict hedge fund managers, Russian oligarchs from buildings and return them to cats.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Switzerland: World's Longest Tunnel Unveiled
It will formally open with ceremonial ribbon cutting by guest of honor, El Chapo.
U. S. NEWS
VA Director Compares Wait
Times to Those at Disneyland

Congress orders investigation into wait times at Disneyland.
Report: Pentagon Still Uses 8-Inch Floppy Disks to Coordinate Nuclear Force Operations
According to their IT guy, Pops.
 
REMINDER
  Memorial Day is the day we remember never to buy a mattress that is not on sale.
 
Mississippi Town Told to Desegregate Schools 62 Years After Brown v. Board of Education
Town blames delay on “excessive paperwork.”
Utah Lawmaker Proposes Mandatory Porn Filters on All Computers in State
And firing squad for those caught masturbating.
 
POLITICS
Trump Calls Climate Change “Chinese Hoax”
But has only praise for their “great wall.”
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