PERSON OF THE YEAR
AL GORE
After serving as Vice President for eight years
of unmatched economic prosperity, Mr. Gore ran
for President of the United States and won the
popular vote by more than 540,000, a margin
five times greater than John F. Kennedy's over
Richard Nixon in 1960. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Pope's Christmas Message of Hope Heard by Two Billion
Pontiff, in shift, says it's "every man for himself." |
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Santa and Reindeer Shot Down
by U.S. Jets Over Iraq
"Should have known about
no-fly zone," says State Department. |
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La Niña, El Niño’s
Successor, Subsiding
Being replaced by Los Lobos. |
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| PICTURE OF THE
WEEK |
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NEW HEAD IN RUSSIA
Critics complain
it’s "the same old
Putin." |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Cheney Finally Told of Victory
News withheld "for health reasons." |
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Bush Concludes Minority Hiring
with Blind, Black, Native American
Lesbian
Rest of appointments
will be white men. |
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First Post-Inaugural Moves
Announced
Bush will immediately begin work on
plans for his presidential library in
Texas. |
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| BUSINESS |
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 AFTER 100 YEARS, OLDS
FOLDS
Public found styling out of date, new
models underpowered. Cutlass convertible
(shown) never caught on with younger
drivers. |
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Movie Studios Fear Latest
Digital
Threat
Hollywood honchos are worried about MyFreeFullLengthMotionPicture.com’s
effect on profits. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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EXCLUSIVE FROM
SCOTLAND:
Madonna Reveals Future Plans
Will wed next husband on tropical island in Pacific.
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