FLAG MAKERS
STEPPING UP PRODUCTION
Demand is far outstripping
supply.
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| WORLD NEWS |
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White House: Bin Laden “Call
for Holy War” Video May Contain Coded
Message
Possibly calling for holy war. |
|
Russia: 100 “Suitcase”
Nuclear Bombs Missing
“They'll turn up,” says
spokesperson. |
|
U.S. Suspends Dropping
Microwave
Ovens on Refugee Camps
Cites “negative impact.” |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
PRINCE CHARLES
CONVERTS TO ISLAM
The Queen is
said to be “very disappointed.” |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Most Government Officials
Moved to Secret, Secure Locations
Public told to keep daily routine, remain calm. |
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FBI Sweep Successful
All 24 Americans who know anything about
Afghanistan are now in media custody. |
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REMINDER
In months ending in “R” wear a
gas mask. |
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| |
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Giuliani Rejects $10 Million
From Saudi Prince
Billionaire wanted Mayor’s
girlfriend for his harem. |
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| PUBLIC HEALTH ADVISORY |
| |
| |
You do not have
anthrax poisoning unless you have noticed
at least two of the following symptoms: |
| |
| 1.
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Occasional
fatigue |
| 2.
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Sporadic
flatulence |
| 3.
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Sweating
during vigorous exercise |
| 4.
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Periodic
yawning |
| 5.
|
Worry
about anthrax poisoning |
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