| PEOPLE |
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 |
Clinton's
Comprehensive 992-Page
Memoir in Stores Soon
Most who purchase it will immediately
turn to index and look up "Lewinsky." |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
TV: National Spelling Bee
Draws High Ratings
Networks notice, order “Celebrity
Spelling Bee,” “Who Wants to Be
Donald Trump's Spell-Checker,”
and “I'm a Good Speller, Get Me
Out of Here!” |
| |
| INTERNET |
|
Online Porn Sites Get Three
Times More Visits Than Top Search Engines
Wall Street anticipates huge initial
public offering for HotNakedCelebrityBabes.com. |
| |
| LAW |
|
Nursing Home Patient Might
Not Collect $1.2 Million Jury
Award in Ant Attack
Evidence was quashed, then squashed. |
|
“Casual Friday”
Law Heads to Senate
Bill passes House, 435-0. |
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| SCIENCE |
 |
|
Inca
Graveyard Discovered in
Peru
Remains shown here
believed to be those of
popular Inca singer and
backup group. |
|
| |
 |
New Study: Universe
156 Billion Light-Years Wide
Photo of universe (above) taken
from parallel universe. |
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| HEALTH/ MEDICINE |
|
Link Between Antidepressant
Medications and Teen Suicide
Upsetting to Drug Companies
Fewer customers could impact profits. |
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| EDITORS' NOTE |
|
In the days leading up to the war in
Iraq we relied heavily on information
from a source that has since been
discredited, The New York Times.
We apologize for not recognizing the
problem sooner and promise to be more
vigilant in the future. |
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