 BUSH: SOCIAL
SECURITY WILL
RUN OUT OF
FUNDS BY 2042
Just before we run out of fossil fuels, say experts. |
|
| |
| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Castro Calls Bush
“Deranged”
Makes charge during six-hour State of the
Dictatorship speech in Havana. |
|
Axis of Evil Expels Iraq
May be readmitted in a few years, says
Axis spokesman. |
|
Bush Warns Iran Not to Meddle
in Iraq
And don't interfere with our intelligence
units secretly operating in Iran, either. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
|
Yogi Berra
Sues TBS for Using His
Name in Racy TV Ad
“They never gave me
permission to use
it,” he says. |
|
 |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
Rumsfeld Twice Offered to
Resign During Abu Ghraib Scandal
Both times to spend more time with his
family. |
|
U.S. Marine General: “It's
Fun to Shoot Some People”
But not yourself, in the foot. |
| |
REMINDER
You’re smarter than some of the
earliest computers. |
|
|
| |
|
White House Chef Leaving
After 11 Years
He'll return to his old job at Arby's. |
|
Viagra Covered Under New
Medicare Drug Plan
After relentless lobbying by Bob Dole. |
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Nixon Tapes Returned to
Nixon Library
“It's about [expletive deleted]
time.” says curator. |
|
