Ironic Times

 NO. 239 "Expect the Ironic" APRIL 11 - 17, 2005 

Apr 4
Apr 18
DELAY'S DOG PAID $350,000 FOR “POLITICAL CONSULTING”
“Sparky's a valued member of our campaign team,” says spokesman.
 
WORLD NEWS
U.S. Pleased by Iraqi Rights for
Minority Parties, Crucial to
Healthy Democracy

In other countries.
Religious Leaders Denounce Plans
For Gay Festival in Jerusalem

Claim it interferes with previously
scheduled Tolerance Parade.
Charles, Camilla Married
Queen congratulates them, by e-mail.
 
HIGH TECH
Google's New Satellite Photo Feature Unveiled
Allows users to zoom in on homes, businesses, Playboy mansion.
U. S. NEWS
FBI Seeks Expanded
Powers From Congress

Asks for approval to spy on CIA.
Florida Okays Use of Deadly
Force By Anyone Who Feels
Threatened

Preemptive deadly force also okay if you feel someone may be thinking about attacking you.
 
REMINDER
   It's time you went out and found
   a real part-time job.
 
Federal Judges Ask for Greater Protection
From Tom DeLay.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Karpov Plays 60 Games Simultaneously With Schoolchildren
Former world champ loses every game, announces retirement.
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