| SPORTS |
 |
 Chessboxing
Heavyweight Championship Won by
Relative Newcomer
“Killer” Kowalski (left)
was down a rook and two pawns before
landing a haymaker and knocking
Russian Grandmaster Ivan Lefco
(right) senseless. |
|
|
Baseball: Hot Stove League
Really Heats Up
Over-the-hill lead-footed banjo hitter
traded for washed-up dead-armed drunk and
a hopeless head case to be named later. |
| |
| PUBLISHING |
|
 Bush's
Victory in Iraq Zooms to Top
of Bestseller List
Outselling all other works
in its category. |
|
| |
| 1.
|
Victory in Iraq, by
George W. Bush |
| 2.
|
Victory in Vietnam,
by Richard M. Nixon |
| 3.
|
Victory in Vietnam,
by Lyndon B. Johnson |
| 4.
|
Victory in Vietnam,
by John F. Kennedy |
| 5.
|
Victory in Korea, by
Harry S. Truman |
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| How will you know
when the housing bubble
has burst? |
| A ) | Developers
selling subdivisions to
farmers to convert into
cropland. |
| B ) | Long,
awkward silences at
suburban cocktail
parties. |
| C ) | Real
estate agents holding
signs reading, “Will
sell your house for
food.” |
|
|
|
| |
| LIFESTYLE |
|
Profile: Average American
Still Super-Sizing
He or she is 35½, drives an SUV, shops
at big box stores, attends a megachurch,
lives in a McMansion and weighs 412
pounds. |
| |
| ODDS 'N ENDS |
|
| Huge Fried Eggs Showing
Up on Florida Beaches
Unrelated to Avian Flu
Say experts. |
|
 |
|
|
