| |
| RUMSFELD: |
 |
| Suddenly realizes he
invaded wrong country. |
|
 |
|
| WORLD NEWS |
 |
U.S. Second-to-Last Among Developed
Nations in Infant Mortality
White House proudly points out we're ahead of Latvia. |
|
Secret British Defense Ministry
Study: UFO's Don't Exist
Ultra-secret study: they do exist. |
|
U.S. Tells UN It Does Not Use
Torture
Joke gets scattered laughs. |
| |
| POLLS |
|
63% Approve of NSA Monitoring
Their Phone Calls
Same number approve of random cavity
searches. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
|
 Bush:
Brother Jeb Would Make
“Great President”
As would brothers Marvin,
Neil, sister Doro, niece
Noelle. |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
Bush: Domestic Spying Not
Widespread
If you've never made a phone call you
have nothing to worry about. |
|
Administration Unveils
Planned Response to Flu Pandemic
Will bomb Iran. |
|
Secret Service Logs: Abramoff
Entered White House Only Twice
Exited 249 times. |
| |
| REMINDER |
| |
One man's
earmark is another man's pork. |
|
|
|
| |
|
Sailors, Airmen Being Trained
As Foot Soldiers in Iraq
To do things they thought they'd avoided
by joining Navy, Air Force. |
|
Bush in Discussions About His
Presidential Library
Already off the table: a reading room. |
| |
| EDUCATION |
|
Colleges Report Sharp Drop in
Applicants' SAT Scores
So-called “Dumb and Dumber”
generation now graduating high school. |
|
