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BUSH OBSERVES LOCAL CUSTOMS
IN SAUDI ARABIA |
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Shown (left to right): holding hands; exchanging kisses;
beheading jaywalker. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Bush Praises Egypt on “Progress
Toward Greater Political Openness”
Mubarak promises even more openness when
all opponents are dead or in prison. |
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| ART |
|
 Priceless
2500-Year-Old Euphronius
Krater Finally Returns to
Rome
Exultant Italian curators
immediately go to work
scratching out “Made
in Greece.” |
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| U. S. NEWS |
|
Bush Proposes Economic
Stimulus Package
Money will help people pay for car
they're living in. |
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Stocks Extend Plunge as Fed
Reports Unexpected Manufacturing Decline
To zero. |
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| REMINDER |
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If we preserve habeas corpus,
the terrorists will have won. |
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White House Takes Lead in
Recycling
Sets good example by erasing then reusing
all computer tapes of emails sent between
October, 2003 and October, 2005. |
|
U.S. Records 45-Year High in
Births
Led by Spears family. |
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| LIFESTYLE |
|
Study: Consumers Get More Pleasure
From Same Wine at Higher Price
Oil companies raise gas prices to enhance
drivers' enjoyment. |
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