| POLITICS |
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 McCain to Address
Lack of Health Care Coverage by
Promoting “Wellness and
Fitness”
After those without coverage die, everyone
else will be well and fit. |
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| MEDIA |
|
2,400 Full-Time Newspaper
Jobs Lost in ‘07
According to hearsay. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Market for GPS Devices
Nearing Saturation
Those who still want them unable to
find their way to stores that have them. |
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Secretary of Energy Opposed
to Using Strategic Oil Reserves
Wants to save them for when gas prices
are high. |
|
 Recession
Has Silver Lining
When economy dives, hemlines
traditionally rise. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Study: Human Race Faced
Extinction 70,000 Years Ago
Handful of people survived by ignoring problem,
shopping more and cutting taxes. |
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Report: How Much Mom Eats at
Time of Conception Determines Child's Sex
Green salad with “lite” ranch
dressing – it's a girl; Whopper with
jumbo fries, Oreo shake – it's a boy. |
| |
| |
 Hawking:
Primitive Alien Life May Exist
Aliens demand an end to name-calling. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Men Who Masturbate Frequently
Less Likely to Get Prostate Cancer
Study funded by American Cancer Society,
Playboy. |
|
Study: “Couch Potato
Culture” Causing Americans to Die
Sooner
But never miss an episode of “Grey's
Anatomy.” |
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