| ART |
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Chinese
Artist Creates Van Gogh
Out of Leeks
Next up: rhubarb
Rembrandt, scallion
Picasso. |
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| FACTOID |
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Americans Watching TV Record
8 Hours a Day
Sleeping record 16 hours a day. |
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| SPORTS |
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Move to Make
Pole Dancing an Olympic
Sport
Would replace pole vault. |
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Leagues Announce Latest
Stadium Name Changes
(SEE CHART BELOW) |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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Bush Issues Dozens of Tough New
Regulations in Final Weeks
Among them: |
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| “Emissions from coal-fired power
plants must not exceed levels capable of
destroying all planetary life for more than
10,000 years.” |
| “Individuals
detained on a battlefield or in a war zone or near a
Starbucks must be immediately released if they
don't look somewhat suspicious.” |
| “Warrantless wiretapping of an
American citizen on American soil is strictly
prohibited without a really good reason.” |
| “Use of snowmobiles in all national parks
is banned, throughout the summer.” |
| “Torture in all its forms is banned,
throughout the summer.” |
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