| PEOPLE |
 |
 Hugh
Hefner, 84 Engaged to 24-Year-Old
She wants ceremony no later than
tomorrow afternoon. |
|
 |
No Pardon for Dead Outlaw
Billy the Kid
Lawyer says she'll take case all the
way to the Supreme Being. |
|
Biden Says Gay Marriage
"Inevitable"
Like death and taxes. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Economy: Jobless Rate
Continues to Fall
In Mumbai. |
|
Luxury Items Selling Again
According to Conspicuous Consumer Index. |
|
 Postal
Service Declares All New First
Class Stamps “Forever”
Or until Postal Service
eliminated. |
|
|
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
New England Journal of
Medicine Urges Surgeons to Tell Patients
How Much Sleep They’ve Had Night
Before Surgery
Also if sex was any good. |
|
One Third of 9-Month-Olds
Obese or Overweight
Next year breasts will have to display
calorie count. |
| |
| |
 Pill
Being Developed to
Control Alcohol
Consumption
It will be sold in the
shape of a beer nut. |
|
|
| |
| SCIENCE |
|
Archeologist's Find Shows
Homo Sapiens Originated
In Israel 400,000 Years Ago
Pushes first human argument back 200,000
years. |
|
Gene Codes Cracked for
Strawberries, Chocolate
Sorry, they were all out of vanilla. |
|
