| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
 Blackbeard's
Flagship Discovered Off
Coast of North Carolina
By Disney publicity
agent. |
|
 |
National Crime Rate Continues
To Fall
Who can afford bullets? |
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
|
App for Mobile Phones Helps
Diagnose Concussion
For when you're talking on your cellphone
and walk into a lamppost. |
| |
| LAW |
|
Oregon Judge Rules Medical
Pot User Can Keep Her Guns
But must surrender her bong. |
| |
| TRAVEL |
|
United Flight
With 144 Aboard
Returns to D.C. After Fight
Caused by Passenger Reclining
Seat After Takeoff
Once he lowered his tray table all hell
broke loose. |
|
| FEATURE |
 |
 |
| The new food
“plate,” which
replaces the old food
“pyramid,”
raises the question: |
| A ) | what genius
came up with the plate? |
| B ) | what’s
the little round thingy
outside the plate? |
| C ) | what idiot
came up with the pyramid
in the first place? |
| Hint: it was
probably designed by a
committee. |
|
|
|
| |
| NEW PRODUCTS |
|
Woman Caught
Trying to Sell Moon Rock
Claims she brought it
back from Moon. |
|
 |
|
|
