| ART |
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 New York's Guggenheim Museum to
Unveil Art Installation Consisting of
Functional Solid Gold Toilet
It's on loan from American Embassy in Baghdad. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
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Intel Cuts 10,000 Jobs as
Sales of PCs Plummet
Industry fears return to agrarian society. |
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| SPORTS |
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Report: 40% of Former NFL
Players Have Brain Damage
Don't even ask about their backs and knees. |
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NBA's Board of Governors Approves
Corporate Logos on Players' Jerseys
Players approve corporate logo tattoos on their skin. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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Trump Campaign Tells GOP
Elite: It's All an Act
He's really a compassionate deep thinker
who cares nothing about himself. |
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| What is This? |
| A ) | Compulsive behavior by germaphobics |
| B ) | The latest NBA handshake. |
| C ) | Catcher's signals with a man on second. |
| D ) | The CDC's new instructions on how to wash your hands. |
| Hint: it might be easier to just wear gloves all the time. |
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| RELIGION |
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Pope: Divorced, Remarried
Catholics May Rejoin the Church
No limit on what they can donate. |
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