| MEDIA |
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Sinclair Embarrassed as All Its News
Anchors Read From Same Script
Owner explains network merely trying to promote
upcoming presentation of The Stepford Wives. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Roseanne
Producer Urges Fans to Ignore
Star's Hitler Photo Shoot
Unless it's the only reason they're watching. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Facebook: Most Users' Data Has Been
Sold Without Their Permission
But money went to beef up cybersecurity. |
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Acting Director of Consumer
Financial Protection Bureau
Submits Quarterly Budget of $0,
While Hiring Two Senior Staff
Members at Salaries Over $230,000
Enough to pay hush money to
Stormy Daniels, Karen McDougal. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Egyptians Foresaw Climate
Change, Extended Empire 50
Years with Mitigation Measures
But we don't need to do something like that,
because we have the power of prayer. |
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After Her Pet Dog Died, Barbra
Streisand Spent $50,000 to Have
It Cloned
And another $80,000 to clone all her tropical fish. |
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Elon Musk: God-Like AI
Could Doom Mankind to Eternity of Robot Dictatorship
Could be better than what we have now. |
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Space Hotel to Welcome
Guests by 2022 For $800,000 a Night
Or 3 trillion Hilton Honors points. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
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EPA Spent Millions on 20-Member
Security Team for Pruitt
No longer tasked with protecting environment, agency
to be renamed PPA (Pruitt Protection Agency). |
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