| ART |
 |
 Human Breath
Taking Toll on Munch's Iconic Scream
Originally, figure was smiling. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
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Researchers Report Internet
Download Speeds 1,000 Times
Faster Than Current Fastest
To test it they've been non-stop
binge-watching everything on Netflix
for two months. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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Survey: You Officially Become
“Old” When You Turn 57
Fifty-seven is the new sixty-five. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
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Coronavirus Causes 17% Drop in
Global Carbon Transmissions
New fear: global cooling. |
|
 Wildlife Thriving in
Closed National Parks
They're staying in park lodgings,
eating at park concessions, shopping
in park gift shops. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| According to a recent survey, what
percentage of Republicans believes
Bill Gates will use a coronavirus
vaccine to implant microchips in them? |
| A ) | Less than 1% |
| B ) | Less than 3% |
| C ) | Less than 5% |
| D ) | More than 40% |
| Hint: imagine millions of people
unexplainably donating money to Microsoft. |
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| RELIGION |
|
Trump Urges Reopening
Houses of Worship
Hundreds crowd into Church of Satan. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 TMZ Snaps Photo
of Trump Wearing Mask
National Enquirer pays undisclosed
amount to “catch and kill” it. |
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