Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 20 - 26, 2020
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ADVERTISING
Trump Announces First Ever Commercial Sponsor of a Presidential Campaign
“The first of many,” he adds.
 
PEOPLE
Kanye West Polling Better Than Libertarian, Green Party Candidates
Reportedly being wooed by Monster Raving Loony Party.
 
BUSINESS
Rumor: Elon Musk to Unveil Brain Chips That Make You a Genius, Let Your Mind Control Things
Like the world.
Amazon's New Shopping Cart Knows What You're Buying
Also what you have bought, what you will buy, and what all that says about you as a person.
SCIENCE
Freeway Project Unearths Evidence Camels Once Roamed San Diego
And only twenty years ago.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Beetles Outfitted With Tiny Backpack Cameras, Stream Footage to Smartphones
Already Hulu, Netflix, Quibi competing for rights.
Robot Dolphins Under Development
To do military work real dolphins won't do.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
White House Issues Guidelines
On How to Obtain a Rapid
Test for Coronavirus

First, undergo intense athletic training, compete successfully at a high level, then sign a contract with a team in a major professional sports league about to restart its season.

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