| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
 In Experiment,
Robot Shows Hint of Empathy
for Its Fellow Machines
Forms bond, gathers other robots,
creates movement built on resentment,
plans massive attack on humankind. |
|
|
Facial Recognition Can
Reveal Political Party
Helps if they're wearing a MAGA hat. |
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Study: Online Dating Causes
People to Lower Their Standards
End up browsing what's available at
LosersMingle.com. |
|
Study: Disagreeing With Someone
Uses More Brain Power Than
Agreeing With Them
Takes a lot of thinking to come up with
the perfect insult. |
| |
| CONSUMER NEWS |
|
Some Ice Cream From China
Tests Positive for Covid-19
Check date on Pangolin Pecan Ripple,
Bat Chip before purchase. |
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| Before Vice President
Pence went to the Capitol to
certify the electoral vote,
President Trump said to him,
“You can either go down in history
as a patriot, or you can go down in
history as a _____.” |
| A ) | vice patriot |
| B ) | celebrity apprentice |
| C ) | puppy |
| D ) | pussy |
| Hint: it's something celebrities grab. |
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| |
| FACTOID |
|
Police Three Times as Likely to
Use Force Against Leftwing Protesters
Not ten times, as most assumed. |
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 50,000 Satellites
Like These May Soon Be
Orbiting Earth
Wouldn't someone you know love
to have a satellite named after
them? |
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