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WITH SURGE, CHANGE ANNOUNCED
FOR TIMES SQUARE NEW YEAR'S EVE CELEBRATION
Only unvaccinated idiots can attend. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Spain Proposes Paying Adults
$292 a Month to Move Out
Of Their Parents' Homes
With an extra $50 if they do their
own laundry. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Report: Manchin Worried
Poor Would Spend Tax
Credits in Bill on Drugs
Drugs that would be much cheaper if
bill passed. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 Putin Holds
4-Hour Year-End News Conference
Takes two questions. |
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| (Once again we turn to our
distinguished panel of psychics,
seers and soothsayers for a look
ahead at the new year.) |
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 | Kandu: “Can we
look ahead a couple of years? This next
one doesn't look too good.” |
 | Madame Blavinsky:
“The world will be visited by an
intelligence from another galaxy
and humanity will unite in love —
but it's a movie promotion.” |
 | Cassandra:
“I see a rising up of the
oppressed and forgotten, who will
demand better internet speeds.” |
 | Nostradamus:
“I predicted in 1552 that Google
would buy Hulu and TikTok, and I'm
sticking with it.” |
 | Tiresias:
“We're in for a replay of 2020,
so I've stocked up on audio books
and canned meat.” |
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